Last week, I was talking with a university student with whom I was helping to improve his resume and interviewing skills. He mentioned something that I think most of us struggle with from time to time.
That something is the difficulty of comfortably being who we are in every moment rather than worrying that we are not good enough, or worse, pretending we are someone else in order to ‘win friends and influence people.’
The truth is that each of us is perfect just the way we are. The only way we become "more perfect" is by becoming more ourselves.
Once we "get it" — that we are all we need in any and every moment — all pressure to perform or to be something or someone else is gone. This is because we are more fully ourselves; it makes decision-making so much easier.
How many times have you second-guessed yourself only to realize you were right on target to begin with?
More often than not, we end up doing something other than what we know is right for us (despite having a bad feeling about it in the first place) and then we have to suffer the consequences.
Definitely not very inspiring. The fact of the matter is that life is not meant to be a struggle.
This reminds me of something Dr. Robert Anthony pointed out. He said that any time we’re struggling, we’re mis-creating. Instead of following our built-in inner guidance system (our intuition), most people react to circumstances. Then they have to react again to make up for the first miscalculation — which, of course, is the beginning of the slippery slope of a downward negative spiral.
How much easier to listen to our intuition the first time!
Mistakenly believed to be only within the realm of women (i.e., "women’s intuition"), when we decide to discard pretense and fully trust ourselves, all of us (irrespective of gender) know what’s right for us.
Wanna learn a little game you can play with yourself whenever you feel you don’t know what to do? When you’re torn between two choices?
I’m borrowing from Coach Steve Mitten the following antedote he himself borrowed from Michael Ray’s book, The Highest Goal.
As Steve puts it:
"Here is what you do. Reduce a decision to two options. Reach for a coin and assign each side to a particular outcome. (If it comes up heads I will take option A. If it comes up tails, I will take option B.)"
"Make yourself still, by settling down and taking a few deep breaths. Flip the coin."
"As soon as the coin reveals its recommendation, pay careful attention to your reaction."
"If you react with a ‘yes, I knew that was the best way’ you have your answer. If it is a ‘no, that doesn’t feel right’, you also have you answer."
Be fully you. Trust your intuition. Inspire and Be Inspired.